Purposeful Parent Tip: It’s OK to show emotion in front of your children. You are not a robot.

About four years ago, my daughter walked into my office and saw me crying. She asked me what was wrong and within seconds, said, “Grandma died, right?” I squeaked out a “Yes” and hugged her. I walked into the living room where my son was sitting on the couch and told him the news. I explained to both of them that Grandma was very sick and that her body just couldn’t fight any more. She was in heaven with the angels.

The other day after the Newtown CT, tragedy, my kids once again saw me crying. I told them how my heart broke for all the moms and dads and families who had lost a child or loved one. “But you don’t even know them”, my daughter said. I told her that when you are a mom and something happens to a child, any child, it affects you.

Many will say I should’ve kept my emotions to myself. That I should not let my children see me cry or be upset. While I agree that they should not witness their mom having a breakdown, I do believe it’s important to show emotion in front of your kids. We are not robots or machines. We are human beings and we have feelings.

In one of my favorite movies, “The Holiday”, Jude Law says it best. “I’m a weeper.” (Though with his accent it sounds more like, “I’m a weepah”). That’s me. Have been all my life. Things hit me hard and I struggle to keep my emotions in check. I cry at Hallmark commercials. I cry reading sentimental cards. I tear up when my kids make a basket or do well at something they’re working on. I’m the mother that kids are embarrassed of because I show my emotion and affection.

“Ew…” my kids will say sometimes. (Luckily, in the confines of our home, I can sneak in a slobbery kiss or a hug without being admonished for embarrassing them.)

Some might say this is a good thing – that I’m “in touch” with my feelings. I’m not so sure. I’m grateful that I feel things deeply. I’m grateful that I can show emotion. At my core, I have empathy and a compassion for people and don’t want to see them hurt or go through tough times. If I can help, I always try.  But there are times when I’d like to be able to ‘man up’ and not be so forthright with my emotions.

I’m not quite sure how to turn off the waterworks, but I do know this. My kids will know that their mom was human. They’ll know that things impacted her and she was able to show her emotion and feel empathy for people. They’ll know that she was not a robot walking through their lives simply dishing out chore lists and commands to clean their room or do their homework. They’ll know that their mom felt so much love for them that the very sight of them walking into a room could put a smile on her face.

So what if I’m a crybaby. There are worse things I could be called.