Purposeful Parent Tip: Know who you are so your children can know who they are.
Author. Speaker. Mompreneur. These are the “titles” on my new business card. What? Who is this? Clearly I’ve had a lapse or am in the midst of an identity crisis. Aren’t I the corporate cubicle-dweller for which I defined myself for nearly 25 years?
The days of sitting behind someone else’s desk are gone. The days of hanging my hat on a corporate vice president title (and all that goes along with that) are over. That MBA I struggled to get while working full time, raising two children and going through a divorce, while still meaningful to me personally, doesn’t hold the same clout as it used to.
The person who defined herself by titles, degrees, and annual raises has morphed into a work-at-home-mompreneur who has been redefined and molded into someone very
different. Some days I have to remind myself of who I am because I keep shedding more and more ‘old skins.’ And it’s not been an easy road. I was comforted by the “position” I held. It was safe, secure, and predictable.
“Predictable.” Some would call that boring. Not me. I love predictable. I love knowing that one makes a plan, executes the prescribed steps, and the goal is achieved. This works for me. I love lists! I especially love checking things off lists. Perhaps that’s why “project manager” was one of the titles on my resume. I’m good at it. I have a vision,
am able to see the end goal and can come up with all the steps and tasks in between to achieve that goal.
Being a great project manager comes in handy when you have kids. You have a vision (have a child) and an end goal (get rid of child…oops…just kidding). But what about all the steps in between the mid-night feedings and college essays? There’s not a Gantt chart big enough!
Oh, and guess what? Every child is different. Yikes…this is not sounding predictable at all to me. This is sounding more and more like “scope creep”, to use some project management lingo. Scope creep is the term used for projects that waiver from their original intent and get bigger and bigger and bigger until they are no longer recognizable.
Hmmm – yes – that’s parenthood for sure! You start off with a clear vision of how you’re going to raise your child and somehow you look back and realize what you have done looks nothing like what you intended! Every day is different. What works on some days, does not work on others. What works with one child does not work with their sibling. And what works on TV, just does not work at all.
My two children could not be more different from each other. Not only do they look nothing alike, but their temperaments and personalities are polar opposites. (Well, except for that stubborn streak they share. I have no idea where THAT came from!)
I sometimes feel like I need two different personalities in order to parent them. It’s no wonder I feel like I’m having an identity crisis! I think I know how Sally Field must’ve felt playing “Sybil”. Who am I going to be today?
Well, here’s what I know for sure. Whatever my current business card says, I’ll always have the title of “Mom” and that’s a project I’ll take on any day.