How to Discover Your Child’s Talents

Since my son’s basketball season has started again, I’ve been running into many parents of the kids I’ve watched play ball for years. I see so many of these young men looking very grown up and “manly” having lost their boyish looks. It’s pretty cool but sad at the same time because it’s likely I won’t see them again and won’t ever know how their lives turned out.

I don’t know these parents well. Some I’ve seen only at these games. Many names I’ve forgotten but faces remain familiar. Like their children, I probably won’t see them after this season ends in a few weeks.

While we usually spend the games chatting through bad ref calls or amazing three-pointers, these days the conversations have turned to plans after high school. What’s your son or daughter doing in September? Responses vary from parent to parent but it’s clear we are all facing the same changes.

My son has chosen to attend a local community college and pursue a degree in journalism. His dream is to become a sport broadcaster like his idols he watches and follows on ESPN. I and others have told him that this dream, while worthwhile, is going to take a lot of hard work, perseverance, and dedication. I’m not sure he gets that.

If there’s one thing I know for sure about my son is that he loves sports. I don’t mean he likes to watch a game or two here and there, I mean he watches all games of nearly all sports nearly all weekend. (ok – not bowling or golf as those aren’t ‘real sports’.) He knows more about the players and the strategies of basketball, baseball, and football than anyone I know.

How did he learn all of this? Clearly not from me! My knowledge of sports goes something like this – dribble the ball and get a basket; catch the ball and make a touchdown; hit the ball and run to the base.  Other than running track in high school, his father is also ill-equipped in this area.

How’d my son do it then? He did it by watching the games, listening to the commentators, surfing the web for answers on plays or strategies he didn’t understand.  In fact, even though he only started watching football within the last few years, his friends who’ve followed the game since childhood marvel at how much he knows.

When it came time to improve his own game of basketball, he copied who he considers his virtual mentors – Kobe Bryant leads the pack followed closely by James Harden, Stephen Curry and others whose names roll much better off his tongue than mine.

He spent hours outside replicating their moves and their techniques on his own basketball net. From time to time, I’d help him rebound his free throws or he’d practice defending his younger sister to improve his agility. Neighbors would comment on his dedication and how impressive his three-pointers were. Boys I didn’t know would come over after school for pick-up games and while I’m sure my neighbors didn’t appreciate the noise, I was happy he was having fun and staying out of trouble.

Though I believe much of his talent and passion for sports came from his own practice and diligence, I do believe he was born with a gene marked “athlete”. I saw it in his first game of T-ball and I see it when he shoots a basket or throws a football. I sometimes think he could’ve been a star pitcher had he not gotten hit with a ball. This one event stuck in his cell memory and he never returned to the game.

A few years ago, he recognized and accepted that he would not be an NBA star. Sad as that was for him, he subsequently quickly realized that his keen ability for knowing all things factual and statistical about the games was his true gift. He tells me nearly every day that his memory is his greatest gift. He’s right.

How he will turn that gift into a viable career in sports is still unknown – to us both. The only thing I can do as his mom is support his choices and give it a try. My son is not an academic. His memories of high school will be of study halls and lunches with his friends. Should a mathematical concept or scientific fact have stuck in his brain, it would be a surprise to us both.

Given that, we both know that higher education of some sort is a must if he wants to set himself apart from the competition in this field. The rest – hard work, perseverance, willingness to go the extra mile – that’s up to him. My days of influencing him are coming to an end and I pray that he seizes all the opportunities in front of him.

In the end, that’s all we can do, right? Support, encourage, provide opportunities, listen, and love our kids. Doesn’t seem like much when another human being’s life is in your hands – one that you brought into the world and promised to care for and love no matter what. But this is what we do.

I’ve no idea what career my son will end up pursuing. I pray you see him one day on the dais of ESPN’s Sports Center debating stats with the best of the best. But if this doesn’t happen, I pray he finds a career he loves and that he marries a very understanding wife who will love sports as much as he does. Otherwise she’s going to have a tough time come football season, and baseball season, and basketball season, and….

Jen’s Gem: Support your child’s dreams and encourage them.

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