Purposeful Parent Tip:  Death is a part of life. Choose your words carefully when discussing this with your child.

Like many, I was shocked to hear the news of Whitney Houston’s death. Upon seeing the news blip, I immediately ran to my computer to see if it was true or perhaps just my ears playing tricks on me. It was all over Facebook, Twitter, and every online news channel imaginable. Within a few seconds of reading this news, the tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry.

My daughter asked me why I was crying since I did not know Ms. Houston personally. I explained that while I did not know her, I was a big fan, and her voice was, well…from God. I told her that she had a troubled life and that despite having this enormous talent, she struggled with drugs and alcohol. While I didn’t know if that was the cause of her death, something told me it may have played a part.

As I was tucking my daughter into bed that night, she asked me alot of questions about death. Many of which I had no answer for. “When people die, is it like God kills them?” “Where is Whitney now?” “Are you as sad for Whitney as you were with Grandma?”  I explained to her that God did not kill Whitney Houston and that she was in heaven with Him. I also told her that I was much more upset about my mom than Whitney.

More questions arose – about God, heaven, and life. Questions that were far wiser than her young ten years. Having such a philosophical discussion with her was quite different than our normal bantering on Justin Bieber, basketball, or school work. I found myself explaining things in a way that even surprised me.

I’m a deeply spiritual person and try to convey this to my children. I’ve raised them to have a belief in God and all that encompasses. I’ve taught them that God is good and loves them even more than I do (which they do not understand as they both say that I love them “too much”!)

Trying to explain Whitney Houston’s death or even that of my mom’s was difficult. While it made more “sense” about my mom passing away due to illness, it is still a tough subject and I needed to choose my words carefully. It was not my intention to frighten my daughter but to explain that death is a part of life and that eventually all of us will die. It’s not in our hands to decide when or how.

“I never want you to die Mommy.” I fully understood these words coming from my daughter as they were the exact words I said to my own mother when I was about my daughter’s age. I remember saying to her that I hoped that I would die before her so I wouldn’t have to live my life without her. My mom quickly responded with “Don’t say that!” My real intention was for neither of us to die so that we’d never have to live life without the other person. I’m sure she understood my intention as no child wants to imagine a life without their parents.

As we know, that’s not possible. My mom did pass away before me and I do have to live life without her…but…not really. While she’s not physically here for me to talk to or hug, she’s always with me. She’s with me when I cook dinner, or even when I write this blog as so many of them are inspired by her. It’s her love that lives on forever – no matter where she is.

I explained this to my daughter and said that even though we don’t see our loved ones all the time, we know they love us. So it’s the same when people die. We don’t see them, but we know they love us.

“I guess God wanted Whitney Houston back in heaven to sing for Him,” said my daughter as we ended our little talk.

“I think you’re right, honey.”