Jen’s Gem:  Forgiveness is freedom!

I love going to the dentist. Now, before you either click off this post or think I’m delusional, allow me to explain. I’ve been blessed with good teeth and so my visits are routine. A simple cleaning and off I go with my trusty goody bag.

Since I had never experienced this, I asked how it happened. Here was the response:

“As we age… (yeah yeah – you knew THAT was coming!) our gums begin to recede and the enamel on our teeth begins to thin.”

I was given a “Try Sensodyne” recommendation and off I went. Thankfully the pain went away. However, this experience got me to thinking about being sensitive, not just in our mouths but in our lives. 

I would not classify myself as thick-skinned. Contrary to the old cliché, yes, your words can and do hurt me. While I’m better than I used to be, I’ve had to come up with a solution to help me cast off the fiery darts.

Here’s what I’ve learned when a barb or insult comes my way:

Separate the action from the person.

What does this mean and why is it so important?

I’d venture to say that 99 percent of the time, the person delivering the strong words is having a bad day, is going through a tough time, or perhaps is just stressed. If you can focus on the person’s typical behavior, then the ill-time words can be cast aside like yesterday’s news.

Doing this causes you to think more about WHO this person is, rather than what they DID.

If a normally kind and caring person snaps at you, well, clearly this goes against their day-to-day persona and you should be able to “shake it off” as Ms. Taylor Swift would advise.

Yet if you focus on the words – the “DO,” you will quickly find yourself down the rabbit hole of offense. “How could they?” “Who do they think they are?” This response does nothing for you other than to get your dander up and ruin your day. 

Oh and you have just allowed the devil to “win” because he was able to steal your joy. (John 10:10)

Did you know that Jesus was the recipient of lots of hurtful words? People called Him a drunk, a liar, and even said He was demon-possessed! Can you imagine? They were so offended at what He was teaching (and oh – He was teaching about LOVE!), that they hurled insults at Him at every turn.

And what did Jesus do? Well, He did not run back home and cry in His coffee. He also did not retaliate with harsher words. He forgave them. He poured unconditional love all over them.

Whaat??

This is sooo not the whole “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” (no pun intended!) thing. No, Jesus was (is) not about retaliation. He was (is) about redemption. He knew that the people who were insulting Him were broken inside. He was well aware of the “hurting people hurt people” principle before we ever coined the phrase.

This is why He came to earth – to heal the hurting. Look at what it says in Luke (emphasis mine):

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” (Luke 4:18 NKJV)

Here’s the scoop. God has forgiven us of all of our unkind words and deeds through the death and resurrection of Jesus. And the Bible commands us to forgive others as we have been forgiven. Remember, forgiveness does not mean what the other person did was right. Forgiveness does not condone bad behavior.

Forgiveness is freedom from the hurt, pain, and turmoil of another person’s words or actions. It releases you from the bondage of the hurt and enables you to move forward. 

This week, I’d like to encourage you to take a moment before you speak or act to ensure you are being kind and helpful.  Also, when unkind words are said to you, take a moment to think about the person saying them.

Perhaps, you can be like Jesus. Instead of hurling back another insult, put a little Sensodyne on your wound and forgive.