Jen’s Gem: There is no fear in love.

“You had me at hello.” Many of us remember this line from Jerry McGuire in which Rene Zellweger shares her feelings for Tom Cruise. It’s become an iconic quote replacing the perhaps aging “it was love at first sight.”

Yet if we look deeper at either of these sayings, both are laden with surface feelings. Oh sure, I suppose it’s possible to look at someone and feel an instant connection but will either party feel the same once the crush wears off and real life takes over? Doubtful. The challenges of life have a way of forcing us to remove the rose-colored glasses and to see the real person underneath.

Our hearts may skip a beat in those early encounters but what happens when a hiccup comes along? What is the other person’s reaction when we are not at our best? This is the true test of a lasting relationship, whether marital, familial, or a friendship.

The Bible tells us repeatedly to ‘guard our hearts’ for ‘out of its abundance, the mouth speaks.’ (Matthew 12:34 NKJV) What does this mean? Simply, whatever is taking up residence in our hearts is what we will talk about the most. If your heart is bursting with love, you’ll speak words of love and kindness. The opposite is also true.

We would do well to examine what we talk about the most, yes? If we are not living ‘our best life,’ paying attention to our words may help us to discover why.

“I’m scared.” “I’m so worried.” “What if this or that?”

When you read these phrases, you instantly conclude that a person filled with fear is speaking them.

“It’s a great day!” “I’m blessed.” “I’m looking forward to this or that.”

On the other hand, you must conclude the person speaking these words has a more positive outlook.

I have spent a fair amount of time over these past years examining what is in my heart. I pay special attention when my reactions or my words are ‘extreme.’ For example, if I go full drama queen over something, what is the underlying cause? What is at the root of the reaction?

Nine times out of ten, it’s fear. Did you know that the Bible talks about fear 365 times? Did you also know that many times when angels appeared to people, their first words were “Do not fear”? God knew that we would face fearful things, so He ensured that His Word provided us with words to squelch this pesky emotion, if we choose to speak them.

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23 NKJV)

Do you know what the opposite of fear is? Surprisingly, it’s not courage. It’s love. When you know you are loved unconditionally, there is no fear. When you know that someone has your back and will cheer you on, you are not afraid. You will step out boldly.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

This is what Joshua did when faced with the biggest challenge of his life – following in the footsteps of Moses to bring the people into the Promised Land. You see, Moses had just died and this monumental task was placed squarely on Joshua’s shoulders. Let’s look at what God said to him:

“No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5 NKJV)

In essence, God was telling Joshua – “Don’t worry. You got this. I’ll be with you.” Can you imagine how Joshua must’ve felt in this moment? Can you just feel his heart overflowing with love for his God who basically just said – I gotcha Joshua.”

Notice God did not say to him, “Yikes! Look at that army!” or “Whoa…the people are getting

 cray cray!” “What will we do?” Nope. God did not say these things because there is no fear in God, because perfect love casts out all fear. God’s love is perfect.

The keys to our heart may reveal things like fear, worry, doubt, unworthiness, deep hurts and a boatload of other negative emotions. Yet, the key to God’s heart unlocks His abounding and everlasting love for us.

You may not know it, but discovering this truth, believing it, and receiving it is the real key to your heart.