Was Ol’ Blue Eyes Right?

Jen’s Gem: God’s way is always the best way. Always.

Frank Sinatra was one of my father’s favorite singers. When he would get the opportunity to sing in addition to playing his upright bass, you can bet your bottom dollar it was a tune from Ol’ Blue Eyes. “It Had To Be You” comes to mind instantly though I’m confident there were others.

As I would exit the clubs in Long Island in the wee hours of the morning, “New York, New York” would be blaring, which was the signal that it was last call. “My Way” is another fan favorite. 

The lyrics speak to a life lived on “my terms,” spattered with regrets, but overcoming life’s blows. It sounds like an anthem for how to live your best life, yet if you look deeper, it’s full of selfishness and pride. Even the title – “My Way” illustrates this plainly. Let’s look at a few lines:

“Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption.”

“For what is a man, what has he got?  If not himself then he has not to say all the things he truly feels. And not the words of one who kneels.”

I want to focus on this last verse. As a writer and speaker, it’s no secret that I’m a word girl. Knowing which words to use to evoke the feeling or action I want of my audience is key if my words are to have meaning. I often say that I write to “educate and inspire” so I try my best to select the perfect combination of letters that will accomplish these goals.

Communication is a gift that God gave me. Yet this gift can sometimes be both a blessing and a curse as Jesus’ half-brother notes in the verse below:


“Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” (James 3:10 NKJV)


Mr. Sinatra equates “manliness” with being able to say what you feel. While we’d all love the males in our lives to be more in touch with their feelings and be able to communicate them, I think you’ll agree that saying everything we feel can be a recipe for disaster.

Our words – whether written or spoken – have the power to change lives. They can inspire someone to embark on a new adventure. They can comfort someone who is grieving. They can teach someone how to accomplish an unfamiliar task. So many blessings! Yet, sadly, the opposite is true. Our words can kill someone’s dream. They can diminish someone’s faith in themselves. They can punish or scold. Not exactly a blessing, yes?

Frankie tells us that it is better to speak how we feel than speak the “words of one who kneels.” While I suppose he wants us to think of this as a good thing, I see it as elevating our feelings into a position of authority. He goes on to say that speaking our feelings is more important than speaking a prayer on our knees. It’s possible that I’m misinterpreting the songwriter’s intention but let’s assume that I’m correct. Our feelings are a gift from God. God is a God of feelings. If God didn’t have feelings, we wouldn’t either because we are made in His image.

Yet not once in the Bible do we hear about Jesus listening to his feelings when it came time for big decisions or actions. What we do see is Him praying – on His knees – seeking His Father’s will. He wanted the best possible outcome and He knew that could only come from God.

How do we know this? In the Garden of Gethsemane, it’s clear that Jesus “felt” like giving up, walking away from His upcoming crucifixion. Perfectly understandable, yes? I’d be running for the hills! But we know that He did not do this. Luke 22:42 states: 

“Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.”” (NKJV)

Jesus went through this horrible event because He knew the result would be the best outcome for us. 

“…who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2 NKJV emphasis mine)

If we want a life with few regrets, we need to follow the example of Jesus who did not speak out every word that He felt, who did not base big decisions on fickle feelings, who got on His knees and prayed daily, and who used His gifts to bless and heal.

Sorry Mr. Sinatra, but I’ve done much of my life “my way” and guess what? I’m doing it God’s way now. 

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”” (John 14:6 NKJV)

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