Recently my daughter’s religion teacher pulled me aside after Mass. She told me about an incident that occurred in class in which she was especially impressed by my daughter’s actions. Of course, my proud mama antenna went up and I was all ears.
Seems there was another child in the class attempting to take pictures on their phone. When the phone was pointed at my daughter, she told him not to take her picture. Further, she informed the child that her mother does not allow pictures of her on the Internet.
When the child persisted, she pointed her finger and said “I mean it.” This is what impressed her teacher – that my daughter stood her ground not only to this one child, but in front of the whole class.
Shortly after this, I read an article about a mother who quit her full-time job to stay at home to raise her kids. This was described by the writer as brave. In fact, the title of the article was something like “This Brave Mom…”
I struggled with this article and that this action was described as ‘brave’. I assume her and her husband discussed this move and determined that they could live off of one income. I suspect it may not be easy for them as perhaps they’d have to give up some luxuries or ‘nice-to-have’ items. But brave? I couldn’t wrap my head around that one and it took me a day or two to do so.
I do my best not to judge people as I don’t know their full circumstances and really, who am I to judge anyway? I kept in mind that the media likely assigned her this moniker. I doubt she told her story thinking it would end up as it did. What the article did do for me was to make me think about what bravery really means in my life.
Stories of bravery tend to be about big things, like people saving lives or speaking out against injustice. I would agree that these are brave actions. But is that the only definition? Is bravery only in the big things?
I see bravery in the little things people do every day that likely go unnoticed. Things like smiling at a stranger when your life is a mess; helping a co-worker who you may not get along with because she’s over her head; making tough life decisions like who will care for your aging parents, or… following a glimmer of a dream because maybe, just maybe, that’s your life purpose.
All of these things are acts of bravery because they make you step out of your comfort zone – out of the cushy, secure bubble we’ve all grown accustomed to.
“What’s the worst that can happen?” These are words I say to my kids all the time when they ask if they should do some particular action. Unless it’s life threatening, really, what IS the worst that could happen? They will either succeed or fail. But I know for sure they will fail if they do nothing. Regret has fear written all over it.
Bravery isn’t about doing something BIG. It’s about doing something. Taking a first step into the unknown. Daring to be different. Making a change for the better. It may not result in articles being written about you, but you’ll get something more. A sense of accomplishment and a ticket to success. Will there be backsliding? Yep. Will you want to give up? Yep. But the only way out is up and taking that first step toward up is the bravest thing you can do.
I’m ending this year with a series of ups and downs – like most people. Did I accomplish all I wanted? No, I didn’t. Am I discouraged? Slightly. Will I give up? No. Giving up is cowardly. I don’t want to be a coward and more importantly, I don’t want my kids seeing me backing down from challenges.
Take a step out of your comfort zone. If you’re always impatient, take a breath and just be. If you always jam pack your day with to-do’s, cut it in half. If you’re critical and judgmental, take a moment to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. These little baby steps taken one day at a time will eventually lead to a life of big steps and a casting out of the spirit of fear that threatens to grip us all.
As Ms. Sara Boreillis says in her song, “I wanna see you be brave”.