Purposeful Parent Tip:  Be your child’s parent, not their best friend in order to see them flourish.

“Mommy, you’re my best friend,” said my daughter a few years ago. While these words warmed my heart due to their sincerity, I was quick to respond with, “I’m not your best friend honey. I’m your Mom.”

In looking back at that moment, I realized that my response was a bit harsh. My daughter likely knew that I was not her “BFF” but was trying to convey that she loved me, trusted me, and had fun with me, just like a best friend would. However, instead of taking that opportunity to relay my gratitude for her sharing that feeling, I was too quick to tell her that parents are not your friends.

Shame on me. But…

I see this a lot today. That is, parents wanting to be their child’s buddy. I don’t agree with this thinking. Yes, I want my children to trust me and have fun with me, but I am not their playmate. I’m their mother – a role I take seriously. Moms do the things that are not popular or cool. Yes, I’m one of those moms.

I admit it. I’m not the ‘cool’ mom. I’m not the mom who lets her kids get away with stuff. I’m the mom who continually hears, “But so and so’s mom lets her do it.” That’s ok. It’s not me. People look at me in shock when I tell them that I only recently got my son, now in high school, a cell phone. They say “How were you able to wait so long?” Simple. I said ‘no.’ People are amazed that my kids do not have email or Facebook pages or Twitter accounts. How did I do this? Simple. I said ‘no.

Saying no to our children will not make you popular or cool in their eyes…yet. One day they will grow up and have children of their own. They will be faced with similar or perhaps even tougher situations. If they have never been told no, how will they say no to their own children one day when asked for the latest gadget or whatever the trend du jour is?

Maybe it’s because I’m an ‘older’ mom – nothing like the 30-something moms that my kids’ friends have that makes it easier for me to utter that little word. Maybe it’s because I was raised by parents who easily said no when I asked for things that were not appropriate for me at that time. Whatever it is, I know in my heart that it’s the right thing to do.

I did not have children because I wanted more friends. I had children because I wanted the opportunity to guide and teach and maybe even make a difference in their lives. Truth be told, I learn a lot more from them at times.

I want to encourage you to examine your relationship with your children and to think about the role you play in their lives. While being their BFF at times is certainly fine, we all know that friends come and go. But being their parent is forever.